


throw my heart into a pit of fire and laugh

by ohyoureyes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, Insecure Harry, Insecure Louis, M/M, Punk Harry, Sad, Yelling, knifes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:08:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohyoureyes/pseuds/ohyoureyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Louis if you walk out that door I'll kill myself." Harry said from behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	throw my heart into a pit of fire and laugh

**Author's Note:**

> so yea i re-edited this because it freaking sucked and I'm much more content with it now lol

"Louis if you walk out of that door I'll kill myself." Harry said from behind. Louis froze his hand still on the door handle. He turned around to see his boyfriend with a knife at his heart, tears streaming down his face.

     Louis looked intently at Harry. The determination and _pain_ in his eyes. His hair was messy from the constant times he ran his hands through it. His clothes had rips in it, along with some cuts, caused by the glass Harry was throwing around. Pushing Louis' china cabinet on the floor, filled with plates Louis collected in different countries, and taking all the cups from the cupboard and smashing them on the kitchen floor, as he ignored Louis' pleas.

      Louis felt weak against Harry. He loved him so much. Way too much. _Enough to make him want_ _to cut his heart out_. Louis couldn't live without Harry. But Louis believed it was completely opposite for Harry. Harry didn't love Louis. No matter how much they made love, or cuddled with each other, or watched cheesy movies. He thought that, to Harry, Louis was a toy. A doll that you gave to your baby cousin after you grew too old of it. Harry said constantly that he loved Louis, but he knew better. Louis wasn't stupid.

     Louis knew that one day they wouldn't be together, and that tore him up inside. When Harry left their flat to hang out with some friends, Louis started crying. He curled up into a ball onto his bed and sobbed. And then Harry walked in. He froze as he saw Louis. Louis expected some kind of love and compassion, but Harry got mad. He screeched about how he came back home because he forgot his phone and he comes back to see his boyfriend crying. Then Harry demanded to know why the blue eyed boy was crying, and when Louis told him, Harry was furious. He stormed down the steps and knocked some chairs over, and Louis silently followed. Harry broke some more things as Louis sobbed and then Harry turned around to look at him.

     Harry's face was red and his eyes were bloodshot. And Harry whispered, after a couple minutes of silence, " Do you really believe I don't love you?" His voice cracked at the end. Louis was silent, hugging his waist. "Boo?" Harry whispered. He was so vulnerable and scared. Louis always thought Harry was the strong one. When Louis nodded slowly, Harry went insane. Harry broke more things. He shouted rude, degrading things at Louis, hitting all of his weaknesses, and all Louis did was take it. Because he was a useless doll.

     "No you won't Harry, you don't love me that much." Louis whispered. returning back to Earth. Harry's face contorted annoyingly and restlessly. The knife so close to his heart all he had to do was -- and he was dead. 

     "Louis what will it take for you to believe that I love you! I am in love with you and I have always been!? Do I need to cut my heart out and serve it on a silver platter to you?" Harry said. He made a square motion around his heart with the weapon. The closeness of the knife to Harry's chest scared Louis, he didn't want him hurt.

      Louis looked down. He didn't know what to say, or what to believe. His mind or his heart? His mind told him evil things, such as _'Harry doesn't love you, he never will.'_ , and _'Get over yourself you know your his second choice.'_ But his heart...oh his heart is what got it the most. No matter all the pain Harry caused, his heart yearned for Harry. _'Harry loves you, and you love Harry.'_ or, _'It's okay Louis, Harry didn't mean it.'_

     Tears streamed down Louis face, as everything hit him. The words, the attack, the abuse, the love, the kisses and hugs, and mostly the pain. He let out a choked sob, as more and more tears bursted out of him. He fell to the ground with a loud thud, just missing a shard of glass from a vase, holding himself as he cried. 

     The knife clattered to the ground as Harry ran over to Louis, instantly worried. He reached for the sobbing boy but he scrambled away.

     "Don't touch me!" Louis yelled, with a hoarse voice. It felt like his heart was bursting. He wanted Harry so bad, but he couldn't have him. Harry didn't want him. Maybe for a day or two but then Harry will stop wanting him, leaving Louis alone, and then he would come back. Making Louis fall in love again. Louis pounded at his head, and death gripped his hair, screaming. He needed Harry's green eyes, and stupid cheeky grin, his deep dimples,his perfect chestnut curls, endless torso, perfect long legs, out of his head. He needed him gone.  

      "Get out of my head!" Louis screeched.

     Harry couldn't just sit there and watch the love of his life attack himself, he reached for Louis once again, Louis finally letting Harry grab him, and he wrapped his tattooed arms around the tiny boy, leaning against their front door. Harry stroked Louis' fringe as he whispered _'shhhhhh.'_   into his ear. Harry felt the tinier boy's heart rate slow down, breathing doing the same and stopped whispering his  _'Get out of my head'_ , mantra. 

     Harry looked at all the broken glass, and wood and picture frames around him, and he became mad. Not at Louis or himself, but at their love. Harry had a constant need to be around Louis, that when he wasn't his heart hurt. He knew Louis was too good for him, but Harry was always a selfish person. He waited in agony for the day Louis realized he deserved much better. He lived in fear of that day. So sometimes he isolated himself. He left Louis alone. He went to bars to drink his problems away. He picked fights with people for no reason. And it was all because of this sleeping, little blue-eyed idiot he fell in love with.

     Harry stood up, carrying Louis like a mother would her child, holding his head against Harry's chest. Harry climbed the steps, kicked ope the door to their room and layed him on the bed. This was probably was the only place in the flat that wasn't destroyed. Harry stared at his angel fast asleep. Harry bent down and left a lingering kiss on his boyfriend's forehead and was about to leave when Louis whispered something.

     "I just want us to be happy." 

     Harry sighed, "Me too." 

     Harry left the room and went back downstairs. He went to the kitchen and pulled all of the cleaning crap out of the closet.

     Harry tidied up the downstairs, throwing out all the glass, pushing the china cabinet back in it's upright position, fixing the dining room chairs, everything. He made his way to the living room, where the knife incident was. The thick silver blade stood out among the mess. Harry stared at it a long time, his train of thought a sour and bitter thing at the moment. He walked over, picked it up and threw it in the trash bag that he held. 


End file.
